When I was a kid, my mom would tell me that she wants Mendelssohn's Italian Symphony and Holst's "Jupiter" from The Planets played at her funeral. Nothing gloomy or mournful; she wants to go out with a bang. So every now and then, I think about what I would want played at my funeral. Of course, my first thought is something consoling and comforting; if I can get Brahms' German Requiem or Faure's Requiem performed, that would be incredible. Of course, that fantasy includes fitting a choir and full orchestra into a Mormon chapel, so unless I find a trove of lost Aztec gold or something, I don't think that's going to happen. If I go with music that's life-affirming and joyful like my mom wants, I'd go with Schumann's Rhenish Symphony, Dvořák's Carnival Overture, and the finale from Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra. Seriously: you are doing yourself a grave disservice (wow--worst unintentional pun ever) if you are not listening to these pieces on a regular basis. It's like musical Lexapro!
All the same, the best music I ever heard at a funeral was at my grandfather's. Several of his grandchildren played musical numbers, including me, and two of his friends sang "Goin' Home". My grandmother said that Grandpa would have loved it. I can't think of a better way to express your love or to commemorate a life than through music. So listen up, future children and grandchildren. Any of the pieces above will work great for my funeral. But I have a feeling that the recently dead are very sentimental. So let the smallest child sing something simple and from the heart, something like "I Am a Child of God" or "Nearer My God to Thee." I will probably cry disembodied tears and feel once again the pain of separation from you. But music bridges worlds--after all, the resurrection will be signaled by a trumpet call. Let me enter immortality with the music of mortality in my ears.
Keep in mind, though, if Mom/Grandma beats me to the other side, I'm not hanging around in the rafters at the funeral. I'll be on my way to meet her at the Great Hot Tub in the Sky. I hear they have awesome virgin margaritas there!
P.S. Speaking of music and death: I had a patient on surgery who was in the ICU and couldn't talk because she had a tracheotomy. In her room, there was a stereo which played a CD of Baroque favorites on repeat, nonstop, day and night. The same 50 minutes of music over and over again. A human being can only listen to the Four Seasons so many times. So, future children and grandchildren, if I'm in a coma or intubated or demented or what have you, please bring me music to listen to, but please, please bring me more than one CD! Trust me--I have plenty at home!
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2 comments:
Interesting. I've never actually thought about what kind of music I wanted at my funeral, although my mother told me she wants Death Shall Not Destroy My Comfort sung at hers.
But your'e absolutely right. Music, especially religious pieces it seems, do tend to attempt at least the bridging of mortal and immortal worlds. Thus, I think the 'music of mortality' has more than a little of the immortal already in it. Maybe that just makes the transition easier.
Pah. 'do tend' should be 'does tend.' I knew I messed something up.
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